When You Have No Say in the Matter — at All.

By Grant Revell. North Fremantle, Western Australia

When I was young I soon learnt how to be a father. Often at the expense of being a child. Circumstances were difficult but I quickly learnt that my own father didn’t really have a father of his own. Both were missing in action. And consequently, he wasn’t a very good husband. So, I learnt many things emotional from my incredibly kind and caring mother. And clumsy things from my unfortunate father. And with customary tradition, I chose her to be my mother, in spite of her husband. I probably didn’t have much say in that.

These days, my own precious daughter chose me to be her father. And I am ever so grateful for that. She took my fathering to another level. After all, her name is Chesapeake, Powhatan for wide bay, deep water. Her namesake meant life was always going to be expansive and challenging for both her (and her chosen father). Sometimes overwhelming. Together, we have navigated those tricky waters. First in North America, and now in Western Australia. Not easy. But we are getting there.

I am learning to let go as her own love of life and maritime skills are exceptional. Instinctual, of course. Her love so deep and expansive. After all, she is being and becoming Chesapeake. With a lot of grandma as her guiding stars. Chesapeake would become a marine scientist and travel the world to practice her craft. Caring for one water body to the next. And just last week she was offered a new job to be a marine ranger on Wadjemup (Rottnest Island) — our most treacherous island just off the coast from Fremantle. Her own work will help with the island’s current truth-telling efforts. Just quietly, I have learnt to love the kind wisdom of life, its wide and deep waters, especially when we have (mostly) no say in the matter, at all.